What’s this about Easter?

Shroud of TurinWell, another Easter come and gone, and I have to say this is the longest-running unsolved mystery in history. Sure, it’s said to be the time of Jesus rising from the dead, officially making him the first zombie, but don’t you think after over 2,000 years, you had time to figure out what date this happened on? Seriously, you Christians are a riot! I can’t remember two consecutive years when Easter fell on the same day. I know the semantics and science fool and confuse you. The man died, yet his alien friends used advanced medical and radiation treatments to return him to life, something that China, Russia, and our country are all working on today, This gave us The Shroud of Turin, which is the actual cloth he was wrapped in. The shroud, inbued with chemicals and treated with radiation, transferred Jesus’ likeness to itself. I have never denied that fact. It’s just that you people can’t cope with the truth.

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